Early in our discernment process, one of the biggest questions was related to whether or not we could leave my family during my mother's ongoing struggle with cancer. She had been diagnosed a couple of years before, but she was living a full and happy life while getting treatment. Her doctors assured me that I could reasonably gauge her health by her physical appearance, activity level and other observable cues. So, we headed off to Ocosingo. Last week, when we received news that she was declining rapidly. The girls and I hopped a plane bound for NC. We returned with the knowledge that we could end up being here for months as caregivers in NC instead of missionaries in Mexico. This was gut wrenching in so many ways.
Somehow I think I believed that, since God was calling us to Mexico, that must mean that she would be okay. She had to be. She had to be okay so that we could answer the call, serve God in Mexico and be faithful servants. It was as if I believed that God wouldn't simultaneously send us and not save her.
Nearly every missionary we've talked to has their own story about this dilemma. In most cases, their missionary sending organizations restricted travel home until absolute emergency situations. Many did not make it home before their loved one's death, and in some cases, they weren't even able to make it home even for the funeral.
In Luke 9:56-62, a man expressed a desire to follow Jesus but was rebuked by Jesus when he said, "but first, let me go bury my father." There are many interpretations about this story. Some believe the father was already dead. Some believe he was just old and would die someday. Others believe that it wasn't really about the dead/dying/old father, but rather about Jesus being able to know the man's heart and to know that he wasn't fully committed anyway. Another interpretation is that, because the men began their answer with "...but first..." they revealed that they were willing to put something else before Jesus.
I cannot believe that I'm supposed to be anywhere else but here, caring for and loving my mother and father. Yet I wonder what God thinks. By going earlier this year did we show God that we were willing to put Him first? What does God think that we came home to care for her? Does He think that we're no longer willing to put God first? Or is this exactly where God wants me to be too?
Meanwhile, John is continuing in missions with Pablo & Jan Feliciano, and 2007 promises to be filled with glorious blessings. Mission trips are being scheduled almost daily, the clinic construction is well under way, and the completion of the Tzeltal bible will allow for more meaningful evangelism.
One sermon I've read about this scripture says that God is always doing many things at the same time...all towards the fulfillment of his purposes. I guess that just means that we need to be faithful in the knowledge that God doing something in all of these situations. God is definitely at work in John and Pablo's ministry. God is definitely at work here as we care for my mother. Holly and Maggie are learning about caregiving, learning about cancer, and having time with their grandparents that is oh so precious. My parents seem to feel better having us here and seem to really value the help. I am grateful to have a "boss" who will allow me to leave my post and come to be with my parents as long as I need to be. Had we been doing ANYTHING else, I doubt that doing so would have been possible. God must truly be at work in all these situations and others that we don't even know about.
Perhaps the Matthew scripture can be the answer here - that as we comfort the sick it is as if we are comforting Jesus himself. May our love and care for my mother and father in this time be to God's glory and in keeping with his purposes, and may their love and care for us be also. Amen.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Sunday, October 15, 2006
A counselor struggles
Even though we moved our family and essentially changed the focus of our "work" from non-profit jobs in NC to full-time volunteer missionary service in Mexico, the part of me that is a licensed professional counselor did not stay in NC. It came with me to Mexico because it is so much a part of who I am as a person. My extraversion is another part of who I am, and that part of me has really struggled while trying to learn the language. And an extraverted counselor, even in a land where she's not fluent in the native language, will always find people in need of a counselor somehow beckoning at her/his door!
The bible school students here come from all over the southeastern part of Mexico. Most are indigenous and come from poor families, many of whom are not Christian. They are here to study Christian theology or music, and sometimes they do so against the wishes of their families. Family members sometimes threaten to undermine their education because they want them home to work and help support their families or because some members of the family are afraid of others because of physical, sexual or emotional abuse within the family. We have a 26 y/o student who was "married off" by his family at 15 y/o and has a wife and 4 daughters to support --- all while trying to be a full-time student. Because family ties are incredibly strong in this culture, these pleas by family members are almost impossible for these young people to tolerate. They feel torn between honoring their earthly parents and/or family responsibilites and living out their sense of call to ministry by their heavenly father. I know that feeling myself!
So there I was, dictionary in hand, trying to have my first counseling session in Spanish with a young woman trying to cope with a severe trauma history, family members' pulling her home, crises of faith issues and feelings of isolation from her fellow students --- believing, of course, that they have it all together and that she's the only one suffering! Together we bumbled along, as I encouraged her to seek out the support and counsel from someone with a better command of the language, and her resisting out of fear of being misunderstood, judged, etc. So what's a counselor to do?! Counsel anyway despite the risk of misunderstanding or being misunderstood because of language barriers? Run the risk of making a cultural faux pas out of ignorance? Turn her away? Betray her confidentiality by telling someone? UGH! Just so you'll know, I've asked her to consider allowing me to share parts of her story with an English/Spanish/Tzeltal speaking teacher who could possibly help, but thus far she has not given me the green light. So until she does, I just pray.
Please pray with me for this young student that she may find comfort, relief, insight and wisdom to help her through this struggle and to help her know God's will for her life and for healing of her wounded heart. And pray for me that I am blessed with the gift of language so that I can be my true counselor self with these students when the need presents itself in the future.
Soy una consejera...siempre...dondequiera que vaya a lo que lo hago...soy una consejera. (I am a counselor...always....wherever I go....whatever I do...I am a counselor.)
The bible school students here come from all over the southeastern part of Mexico. Most are indigenous and come from poor families, many of whom are not Christian. They are here to study Christian theology or music, and sometimes they do so against the wishes of their families. Family members sometimes threaten to undermine their education because they want them home to work and help support their families or because some members of the family are afraid of others because of physical, sexual or emotional abuse within the family. We have a 26 y/o student who was "married off" by his family at 15 y/o and has a wife and 4 daughters to support --- all while trying to be a full-time student. Because family ties are incredibly strong in this culture, these pleas by family members are almost impossible for these young people to tolerate. They feel torn between honoring their earthly parents and/or family responsibilites and living out their sense of call to ministry by their heavenly father. I know that feeling myself!
So there I was, dictionary in hand, trying to have my first counseling session in Spanish with a young woman trying to cope with a severe trauma history, family members' pulling her home, crises of faith issues and feelings of isolation from her fellow students --- believing, of course, that they have it all together and that she's the only one suffering! Together we bumbled along, as I encouraged her to seek out the support and counsel from someone with a better command of the language, and her resisting out of fear of being misunderstood, judged, etc. So what's a counselor to do?! Counsel anyway despite the risk of misunderstanding or being misunderstood because of language barriers? Run the risk of making a cultural faux pas out of ignorance? Turn her away? Betray her confidentiality by telling someone? UGH! Just so you'll know, I've asked her to consider allowing me to share parts of her story with an English/Spanish/Tzeltal speaking teacher who could possibly help, but thus far she has not given me the green light. So until she does, I just pray.
Please pray with me for this young student that she may find comfort, relief, insight and wisdom to help her through this struggle and to help her know God's will for her life and for healing of her wounded heart. And pray for me that I am blessed with the gift of language so that I can be my true counselor self with these students when the need presents itself in the future.
Soy una consejera...siempre...dondequiera que vaya a lo que lo hago...soy una consejera. (I am a counselor...always....wherever I go....whatever I do...I am a counselor.)
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
A Soccer Ministry?
It’s hard to explain the importance of soccer/futbol in the Latin American world. Everywhere we go, we see kids playing their own variation on the game regardless of their circumstances. You see one child kicking something, trying to get around another child, in pursuit of a perceived “goal.” It may be a plastic bottle or tin can that they are kicking around a 25 square foot plot of dirt, aiming for a chair placed at one end. On the bible school campus, there is little that resembling “social activities,” but the futbol hours on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons are sacred! Pablo tells us that having a futbol field is one absolute necessity on the campus! The field may be full of mud puddles or piles of excrement left by the numerous animals that randomly graze there, and it may be pouring down rain, but the futbol must go on! Allowing young men from the community to use the field from time to time is considered a form of community outreach. In short, soccer is sacred.
So it is that we find ourselves with a futbol field for our front yard. So it is that we find ourselves trying to play soccer with Mexicans who have been playing since they began learning how to walk --- building relationships with them, learning from them, playing with them. It’s great exercise for us all, and for Holly and Maggie, it counts as PE time. But perhaps more importantly, it’s teaching us another key language here .... the language of futbol. We are learning new skills that will help us speak THAT new language too!
My new friend and fellow missionary, Sharon Hennefelt, talks about her first few years as a missionary here. She said that she spent most of her time teaching Tzeltal women about community health. She wasn’t sharing the gospel or saving souls, she was teaching women about outhouses....how to build them, how to use them, and how to clean them. Not exactly what she had in mind when she came to be a missionary! And playing soccer was not exactly what we had in mind either! But you see, the language of futbol is universal, just like smiles and music, and it’s through these universal languages that new relationships begin. And through those relationships, trust can build and more opportunities to learn from each other and to work together can emerge.
So, perhaps this is one of those lessons about being open to recognize opportunities for ministry that are presented in disguise! A soccer ministry, huh? Who would’ve thunk it?!
So it is that we find ourselves with a futbol field for our front yard. So it is that we find ourselves trying to play soccer with Mexicans who have been playing since they began learning how to walk --- building relationships with them, learning from them, playing with them. It’s great exercise for us all, and for Holly and Maggie, it counts as PE time. But perhaps more importantly, it’s teaching us another key language here .... the language of futbol. We are learning new skills that will help us speak THAT new language too!
My new friend and fellow missionary, Sharon Hennefelt, talks about her first few years as a missionary here. She said that she spent most of her time teaching Tzeltal women about community health. She wasn’t sharing the gospel or saving souls, she was teaching women about outhouses....how to build them, how to use them, and how to clean them. Not exactly what she had in mind when she came to be a missionary! And playing soccer was not exactly what we had in mind either! But you see, the language of futbol is universal, just like smiles and music, and it’s through these universal languages that new relationships begin. And through those relationships, trust can build and more opportunities to learn from each other and to work together can emerge.
So, perhaps this is one of those lessons about being open to recognize opportunities for ministry that are presented in disguise! A soccer ministry, huh? Who would’ve thunk it?!
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