A Common Missionary Struggle

Early in our discernment process, one of the biggest questions was related to whether or not we could leave my family during my mother's ongoing struggle with cancer. She had been diagnosed a couple of years before, but she was living a full and happy life while getting treatment. Her doctors assured me that I could reasonably gauge her health by her physical appearance, activity level and other observable cues. So, we headed off to Ocosingo. Last week, when we received news that she was declining rapidly. The girls and I hopped a plane bound for NC. We returned with the knowledge that we could end up being here for months as caregivers in NC instead of missionaries in Mexico. This was gut wrenching in so many ways.

Somehow I think I believed that, since God was calling us to Mexico, that must mean that she would be okay. She had to be. She had to be okay so that we could answer the call, serve God in Mexico and be faithful servants. It was as if I believed that God wouldn't simultaneously send us and not save her.

Nearly every missionary we've talked to has their own story about this dilemma. In most cases, their missionary sending organizations restricted travel home until absolute emergency situations. Many did not make it home before their loved one's death, and in some cases, they weren't even able to make it home even for the funeral.

In Luke 9:56-62, a man expressed a desire to follow Jesus but was rebuked by Jesus when he said, "but first, let me go bury my father." There are many interpretations about this story. Some believe the father was already dead. Some believe he was just old and would die someday. Others believe that it wasn't really about the dead/dying/old father, but rather about Jesus being able to know the man's heart and to know that he wasn't fully committed anyway. Another interpretation is that, because the men began their answer with "...but first..." they revealed that they were willing to put something else before Jesus.

I cannot believe that I'm supposed to be anywhere else but here, caring for and loving my mother and father. Yet I wonder what God thinks. By going earlier this year did we show God that we were willing to put Him first? What does God think that we came home to care for her? Does He think that we're no longer willing to put God first? Or is this exactly where God wants me to be too?

Meanwhile, John is continuing in missions with Pablo & Jan Feliciano, and 2007 promises to be filled with glorious blessings. Mission trips are being scheduled almost daily, the clinic construction is well under way, and the completion of the Tzeltal bible will allow for more meaningful evangelism.

One sermon I've read about this scripture says that God is always doing many things at the same time...all towards the fulfillment of his purposes. I guess that just means that we need to be faithful in the knowledge that God doing something in all of these situations. God is definitely at work in John and Pablo's ministry. God is definitely at work here as we care for my mother. Holly and Maggie are learning about caregiving, learning about cancer, and having time with their grandparents that is oh so precious. My parents seem to feel better having us here and seem to really value the help. I am grateful to have a "boss" who will allow me to leave my post and come to be with my parents as long as I need to be. Had we been doing ANYTHING else, I doubt that doing so would have been possible. God must truly be at work in all these situations and others that we don't even know about.

Perhaps the Matthew scripture can be the answer here - that as we comfort the sick it is as if we are comforting Jesus himself. May our love and care for my mother and father in this time be to God's glory and in keeping with his purposes, and may their love and care for us be also. Amen.