That is the question that we faced this week as we prepared for Holly's 15th birthday. The 15th birthday, or quinceaños, is a major birthday in the lives of Latin American girls. It is typically celebrated with a GRAND party not unlike a "wedding without a groom" or a debutante ball. It is an official coming-out for girls and symbolizes their availability for both dating and marriage. Some wealthy families who are trendy and less devoted to tradition may offer their daughters a chance to forego the big party in lieu of a trip to Europe with other 15 y/o girls and chaperones, but that's the rare exemption.
So here we are, having encouraged Holly & Maggie to embrace this new culture and its joys, and suddenly quite wary of the whole quinceaños thing! Our minds were filled with "yes, but..." retorts to the whole subject! Yes, we want them to embrace the culture and appreciate the cultural traditions here. No, we don't want to suggest that she's eligible for marriage --- but then again, neither does SHE! Yes, we want them to be able to have some once-in-a-lifetime kinds of experiences here...experiences they could never have in NC or the USA. No, we can't afford to buy the equivalent of a wedding dress, wedding cake, mariachi band and reception hall! Yes, we want them to enjoy all the same joys that their Mexican peers have/will experience! No, we don't want one daughter to experience such a memorable event but not the other (Maggie will be living in NC when she turns 15 y/o in 2009). Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.....UGH!!!
So in the end, we elected to celebrate with tradition over 2 nights, but without the grand party. One night we enjoyed an incredible dinner out at the Brazilian steakhouse and then on Friday night, we enjoyed a brief, informal worship service with prayers and blessings for Holly and lots of coffee, cake and crepes with church members at the coffee house of one of the church leaders. Both events, of course, included the traditional "face in the cake" experience, and we THINK Holly's finally gotten all the cake out of her nostils!!! Then John presented her with our gift, a beautiful Mexican guitar with encouragement for her to learn to play and follow in her dad's footsteps.
We hope it was a wonderful 15th birthday for Holly, albeit without the luxurious dress and all the extras. It makes me wonder, though, about what cultural forks-in-the-road will may face during our time here. What will be next?
So here we are, having encouraged Holly & Maggie to embrace this new culture and its joys, and suddenly quite wary of the whole quinceaños thing! Our minds were filled with "yes, but..." retorts to the whole subject! Yes, we want them to embrace the culture and appreciate the cultural traditions here. No, we don't want to suggest that she's eligible for marriage --- but then again, neither does SHE! Yes, we want them to be able to have some once-in-a-lifetime kinds of experiences here...experiences they could never have in NC or the USA. No, we can't afford to buy the equivalent of a wedding dress, wedding cake, mariachi band and reception hall! Yes, we want them to enjoy all the same joys that their Mexican peers have/will experience! No, we don't want one daughter to experience such a memorable event but not the other (Maggie will be living in NC when she turns 15 y/o in 2009). Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.....UGH!!!
So in the end, we elected to celebrate with tradition over 2 nights, but without the grand party. One night we enjoyed an incredible dinner out at the Brazilian steakhouse and then on Friday night, we enjoyed a brief, informal worship service with prayers and blessings for Holly and lots of coffee, cake and crepes with church members at the coffee house of one of the church leaders. Both events, of course, included the traditional "face in the cake" experience, and we THINK Holly's finally gotten all the cake out of her nostils!!! Then John presented her with our gift, a beautiful Mexican guitar with encouragement for her to learn to play and follow in her dad's footsteps.
We hope it was a wonderful 15th birthday for Holly, albeit without the luxurious dress and all the extras. It makes me wonder, though, about what cultural forks-in-the-road will may face during our time here. What will be next?
1 comment:
Happy Birthday, Holly!
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