Looking for the Good (AKA Small Group Dynamics)

Life is full of all different kinds of people, most of them not like ourselves. We may work or live near folks who make different choices, have different preferences and different personalities. Even within our families there can be radical differences, but we're predisposed to love them and thus be a little more patient with our differences (in theory, anyway). But mission trips are a bit like summer camp and retreat experiences. We share bedrooms, dressing rooms, bathrooms and mealtimes together. Even though we're only together for a short time, because we're with each other virtually 24/7, the time together seems much longer.

When the time together is good, it seems like we've come to know each other so well - like we've known each other for years. It's like, now that we're friends, we know we'll want to stay friends forever. The little things that may bug others don't bother us because those things are easy to overlook because we're more attentive to the things about them that we like. That's when it's good.

When it's not so good, we can't believe that we have to spend the next X number of days, nights, meals, etc. with this person who makes us crazy! We begin to pick apart their every move and look for things to justify our bad impression of them. When they do well, we're likely to miss it. When they are a blessing to someone else, we may not care or even notice. Little things they do make us crazy, and we're more attentive to the things about them that we don't like. That's when it's bad.

I know this because I've done this.

But the truth is, each person who comes on a mission trip has come with a God-given set of gifts and talents to share, and they've chosen to share those gifts and themselves with us. We asked them to commit to honoring certain basic principles but we can't expect them to be perfect, just as we don't want anyone else to expect us to be perfect. But when the annoyance factor is there, it's real and can be a genuine barrier to experiencing all the best parts of the mission trip experiences. The feelings we have are real and do matter.

The work that people do in their full-time lives in the US may influence how we respond to others. Take this couple for example: "Peter: We have an interesting conflict with our two careers. She's always looking for the good in people, especially young people. On the other hand, I'm forced to look for the bad in people so I can protect myself and be prepared for impending danger. As a police officer, I have to assume what people are like based on my observations, and usually these assumptions are negative. This "cop mentality" often competes and conflicts with my wife's outlook."

So what if you're in a career that encourages you to "look for the bad in people?" What if you're just easily annoyed, not used living around so many people or otherwise just generally kind of a negative person? What if you're not normally critical or judgmental, but the stressors of adjusting to everything on a mission trip just has you really on edge? This doesn't mean that you're a criminal or anything, but it does mean that it may be harder to "look for the good."

If we can do that -- force ourselves to look for the good in the one who's making us crazy -- we're more likely to see their gifts -- more likely to notice when they are a real blessing to someone else -- more likely to find something to like in them. But make no mistake, you may have to really MAKE yourself do this! Ask someone (like one of the other group members you've been complaining to about the other person) to help you by holding you accountable. Ask them to ask you at least once a day, "have you noticed anything positive about John/Jane Doe today?"
When we're able to see the good, it makes it a little easier to overlook the annoying/infuriating/crazy-making things other people do. BUT, if we're honest with ourselves, we know that none of us goes out of our way to be annoying/infuriating/crazy-making to others (okay, so maybe there are a few, but that's just when they're having a really bad time). We just live and we're different, and when we live so closely together, those differences loom larger than ever. So next time you're thinking, "I just wish someone would take him/her aside and tell him/her __________!" then ask yourself, "I wonder what Jesus would find to love in him/her?" We know Jesus could do it, and so can each of us, but not unless we work at it.

Mission trip experiences can be life changing and a real jump start to a life of faith inspired to do good works. Instead of letting meaningless stuff get in the way of that, always look for the good, especially in those that challenge you during your mission trip experience.

Leaps of Faith (aka Summer Internship)

Back in early 2007, we received an email from a young woman in Michigan. L.N. was 17 y/o and had been surfing the internet looking for mission opportunities for the summer, and somehow she ran across our website. She inquired about coming to work in a Mexican village, noting that she had spent 2 weeks living and working in a Kenyan village last summer. She shared that she had been saving her money all year to be able to cover her expenses and was volunteering in a classroom with Spanish-speaking kindergarteners. She seemed like a perfect fit, and her enthusiasm was so delightful! When I expressed a need to hear from a parent that she was, indeed, acting with her parents' approval and encouragement, I soon received an email from her mom that confirmed their support for L.N.'s plan.

And so we began discussing summer options via email over the next several months and finally agreeing for her to stay here at the bible school and work with the mission teams. The plan was turning into a reality. Packing lists were shared, questions answered, plane tickets purchased. The clock was ticking, and we were all getting excited!

Two days before she was to arrive in Mexico, L.N.'s mother's emails started sounding a little sad. It seemed that the reality of L.N. not being with her for the summer was hitting her, and I wanted to reassure her all that I could. We continued to exchange emails right up until and through the travel day, and I'm sure that we will continue to stay in touch throughout L.N.'s 8 week journey here.

So the big day was here! L.N.'s flight was delayed by 2 hours but her travels here were otherwise uneventful, and we were glad to be able to let her mom know when she was safely on the ground in Mexico and in our arms. In discussions the next day, it was made even more clear what an incredible leap of faith L.N.'s journey here had been and would be. Just consider the following conversation (a paraphrase of a conversation she said she had over & over in the weeks before arriving here):

"So, what are you doing this summer?" said the friend. "Well, I'm going to Mexico to do mission service," she replied. "Oh, that's great! Are you traveling with your church or with a mission organization?" asked the friend. "Well, I'm not really going with a mission organization or my church. I'm going alone," she shared. "What do you mean 'alone,'" he said. "Well, I'm going down there to stay with a family," she continued. "Oh, so you're going down there to stay with someone you know!" he said. "Well, no not really. I've never met them," said L.N. By now the friend is getting more confused and doubtful. "So let me get this right. You are 17 y/o, you're traveling alone to Mexico to stay with someone you've never met for the whole summer?" he challenged. "Yeah, that's pretty much it. I've been reading their website, talking to them by email, and I think it's going to be fine. I'm so excited to be going to Mexico and to learn more about what it might be like to be a missionary!" she shared. Finally, after getting too many worried, doubtful looks, L.N. explained, "Think of it like this. I'm interning with a missionary family in Mexico." "OHHHHH. Now I get it!" was probably the most positive response the friend could offer at that point.

Just imagine what the similar conversations would have been for her parents! And at some point, it did occur to me that this could be a real hornet's nest of a situation for which we might not be prepared. But quite honestly, I think it's clear that we all (L.N., her parents, Pablo & Jan, and our family) have taken a leap of faith that feels really natural and easy. It has been clear to us from the beginning that, if there was any way we could help L.N. answer God's calling for her to serve here this summer, then we should do it. Seems like her parents must have felt that way too!

And so it is that we find ourselves with one new member of our family. She's tall, bright, pretty, athletic, bilingual and a joy to have in our lives. To tweak her mom's comment a bit, "I'm so glad God chose L.N. to join our family for the summer!"

While I'm sure I will report again about this journey of faith together again, you can follow along with her on her own blog at: http://lorainmexico.blogspot.com/

May/June '07 Update

The last time you heard from us, we were gearing up for a very busy season of mission groups from the US. Well, weeee'rrrreee OFF !

General Mission Update:

• Facilitated a mission group of 22 from the Hot Metal Bridge Faith Community in Pittsburgh. This was a "sampler" trip with construction on the clinic in Ocosingo, a visit to the prison, and village visits to the Chiapas lowlands (San Javier) and the highlands (San Juan Chamula, Tenejapa and Matsam) for young adults exploring their own calls to ministry. Read more on the blog entry, "Never Judge a Book..."
• Hot Metal Bridge subsequently pledged one year of financial support for "Manuel," the missionary serving the Lacandon.
  
• Welcomed a small group of Alpha Sigma Phi brothers from NCSU who helped with clinic construction, engineering issues and prison ministry in Ocosingo. This particular group was very special to us since they included some of our very best friends. By joining us here, we hope that they now have some real appreciation for what has called us to serve here in Mexico, and we know it was a true delight for our family to have them here.
  
• Received news that the Rotary International grant for portable well-drilling equipment was approved! More details to follow as this story unfolds. Again, special thanks to Glenn Pierce in Asheville for his determination to get this project funded. Read more in blog entry, "Rotary International Grant Approved!"
  
• Helped facilitate the medical mission caravan of 25 Americans from Salem Presbytery in NC and 19 Mexicans to Tenango, Chiapas. These teams served over 3,500 people and filled over 8,000 prescriptions in just 10 days! Read more in blog entries, "Charity Humor," "Longing for News," & "Medical Missions in Tenango."
  
• Welcomed and oriented our summer intern, Lora Nelson from Grand Rapids, MI, and 3-week volunteer, David Meacham from Hickory, NC, as partners in missions working with summer work groups.
  

Manos de Cristo Update (Medical Clinic):

• With the architect tending to a family emergency in Mexico City, progress on Phase I construction is still impeded. We've gotten some excellent ideas from group travelers for correcting problems & getting over the stumbling blocks with roof construction. Hopefully the architect will be back soon, will respond to these ideas, and get things rolling again.
  
• In the meantime, Phase II building foundation is under construction.
• The next construction team coming down from the US is due to arrive on June 24th. Just us in praying that we'll be ready to move forward with construction on Phase I by the time they arrive!
  

Family Update:

• We are nearly done with our first year of homeschooling! Maggie, who is traditionally homeschooled, finished up her year on May 25th, and Holly, who is enrolled in an online accredited private school, will finish up soon. Hopefully next year will be a little more predictable, a little less disrupted and easier for us all.
  
• The medical mission trip was a great experience! Ginny worked in the kitchen the first week then worked hard and steady in the pharmacy in the second week. Holly's Spanish has improved sufficiently for her to be a Spanish translator for American nurses, so she worked in the consultation rooms every day. Maggie sampled many roles and found that she liked working in the lab and the pharmacy best. She translated prescription instructions and did lab tests for anemia, diabetes, pregnancy, etc. John, on the other hand, spent many late night hours (not his best time!) driving back and forth to Ocosingo nearly every night during the second week to replenish our constantly depleted supply of medications.
  
• Seeing hundreds of sick people every day for 2 weeks has taken its toll on both Holly and Maggie who are suffering with a wide range of health problems but nothing serious. We're just glad that they didn't get sick until the last day of the clinic. At least now they have a few days to recuperate before heading to our next village on Friday!
  
• After 13 straight weeks of working with all the mission groups, our family will be headed to NC for some much-needed R&R and time with family and friends in mid-August.
  

Prayers

• For God to continue opening doors of opportunity for us to serve
• For short-term missionaries from the US who have traveled to Mexico with groups this year. May they continue to reflect on their experiences and may those experiences move them to continuously be on the lookout for opportunities to serve in their own backyards.
  
• For short-term missionaries from the US who are preparing to travel to Mexico with groups this year. May they prepare themselves to serve and be serve, bless and be blessed, and to come to Mexico with willing hands, open minds and loving hearts.
• For multi-week mission team volunteers: David Meacham (Statesville, NC), Lora Nelson (Grand Rapids, MI) and Andrea Plakmeyer (Garner, NC).
  
• Of gratitude for the generosity of Hot Metal Bridge for their support of the missionary to the Lacandon.
  
• Of gratitude for the funding by Rotary International for the well-drilling project. May we have the resources, wisdom, manpower and initiative to put help the most people possible.
  
• Of support and encouragement for those coping with illness, including Carol McClancy, Tenney Dean, Nancy Lingenfelser, Jim Scott, Mary Wynne Perryman, Bonnie Bode, Tom Edwards, Katie Yarbrough, Hal Newell, Dick Dye, Marshall Hollingsworth, Louise Holshouser, and the family of our dear friend Cecelia. As always, please let us know of your prayer needs and whether it's ok to share them with others.
• Of support and encouragement for fellow missionaries and their families around the world, including Pablo & Jan Feliciano, all the Dye Family Missionaries around the world, David Meacham, John and Sandra Wimbish, future missionaries Julie Alexander and her husband, John, and Jim & Sharon Heneveld.

Opportunities

• Request that VBS offerings at your church be for the following high-demand, hard-to-buy products: generic versions of Advil and Tylenol (ibuprofen and acetaminophen); hydrocortisone cream; triple antibiotic ointment; children's vitamins, prenatal vitamins, and adult multi-vitamins; and dollar-store reading glasses and sunglasses. Contact us via email to discuss the best way to arrange for their transport to Mexico but plan to be able to store materials for up to several months until we can arrange to get them here.
• Donate to Hebron USA for Phase II of the Manos de Cristo Medical Clinic in Ocosingo (details on the HUSA website at www.hebronusa.org/8.html)
• Donate to First Presbyterian Church in Mt. Airy, NC for our family’s missionary support (details on our website at www.millsfamilymission.org/5.html)
• Mission Tip of the Month: 10 Commandments for Short-Term Mission Trips (borrowed from the website of Dr. Culbertson at Southern Nazarene University at http://home.snu.edu/%7EHCULBERT/ten.htm)

1. You shall not forget that you represent your home country and Jesus Christ.
   
2. You shall not expect that things will be the same as they are at home, for you have left your home to find different things.
   
3. You shall not take minor things too seriously. Accepting things as they are paves the way for a good mission trip.
4. You shall not judge all Mexican or Tzeltal people by the one person with whom you have had trouble.
5. You shall not let other group members get on your nerves. You raised good money and set aside this time. So, enjoy yourself.
6. You shall not be overly worried. The person who worries has no pleasures. Few things people worry about are ever fatal.
7. Remember your passport (or other identification document) so that you know where it is at all times. Once you have received a visa ("travel papers"), remember that you must turn that in when leaving the country or face a large fine. A person without documents is a person without a country.
   
8. Blessed is the person who says "thank you" in any language. Verbal gratefulness is worth more than tips.
9. When in Mexico (Rome), do as the Mexican or Tzeltal (Roman) people do. If in difficulty, use common sense and your native friendliness.
10. Remember, you are a guest in Mexico. He who treats his host with respect shall be treated as an honored guest.

"Okay, so these aren't the 10 commandments given to Moses on Mt. Sinai. However, the principles enunciated here are foundational to success in short-term cross-cultural experiences. So, violating these 10 commandments (even if Moses didn't get them) can spoil your short-term experience and even tarnish your attempts to witness for Christ."

As always, we are grateful for your prayers, support and encouragement as our Partners in Missions. You remain in our prayers.

Love,

Ginny, John, Holly & Maggie

Longing for News

This week while leading a medical missionary team in Tenango, Dr. Bill Herring from NC was approached by a Mexican family who was longing for news about their son. They had gotten news that their son, who was in the US, was in the hospital. They knew no more than that. They didn't know which hospital, which city, or even which state he was in. They just knew he was sick, and they were terrified. Regretting that he could do no more, Dr. Bill promised to pray for their son and for their family.

The next day, the family returned to talk with Dr. Bill again - this time with a phone number. Armed with a good satellite phone connection, this phone number, funds to make several calls, and a good Spanish translator, Dr. Bill and Nurse Penny Musson began making calls. First they talked to the young man's roommate who confirmed that the young man was hospitalized and shared the name of the hospital. After more calls, they eventually reached a nurse of the floor where the man was being treated. As an American doctor in missionary service in Mexico, Dr. Bill pleaded with the nurse to allow the release of some information and/or to allow the parents to talk with their son, if he was able. As it turns out, the son was able to come to the phone and had a long talk with his parents - assuring them of his current safety but recounting his story of illness and treatment complications. Their reunion, albeit by telephone, was a joyous one and one that eased the anguish of the parents and their adult child - and warmed the hearts of Bill, Penny and everyone else involved.

As Dr. Bill shared with the group later, this was a poignant reminder of the thousands of families across Mexico who have absolutely no idea where their adult children are in the US. Are they safe? Are they hiding in a river or a desert while trying to find safe passage into the US? Are they in jail? Are they hurt, hungry, lost or lonely? While not disputing that the choice to immigrate illegally is one of their own choosing, there's also no doubt that family members here suffer from lack of information about their loved ones.

In this case, thanks to Dr. Bill, Penny, Joshua Feliciano, the roommate, the nurse, the satellite phone provider and the grace of God, these parents were comforted to learn that their son was okay and to hear his precious voice. Thanks be to God.

Charity Humor

These past 2 weeks in Tenango, our nurses and paramedics met with over 3500 people needing medical care. Many were from deeply impoverished situations and grateful for any and all forms of charity. One nurse reported that she provided care for an ancient Tzeltal couple that spoke no Spanish or English. The man was 90 years old and an obvious beneficiary of the generosity of someone. How could we tell, you ask? Well... his well-worn t-shirt read, and I quote:

Co-Ed Naked Bingo!

What do you think? Assuming that he had no idea what the words on his t-shirt meant, the nurse stiffled her chuckle and proceeded with her assessment of his needs. Since no one around him knew what his t-shirt said, this likely clothing donation was meeting his needs quite well.

Even in the midst of great poverty and distress, there's humor and irony. Let's hope the gentleman involved doesn't decide to take up naked bingo or those nurses would never be able to contain their laughter!

So what do you want to be when you grow up, Little Girl?

The medical clinic offered our daughters a great opportunity to learn more about different career options in the medical field. They worked closely with nurses, lab techs, pharmacists and doctors. They saw how PAs might work with doctors by observing the close working relationship between Dr. Bill and the Mexican paramedics. They translated symptoms, treatments and prescription instructions to help bridge the language gap between American healthcare professionals and Spanish-speaking Mexicans. So a natural question might follow this experience...

"So have these experiences created any new interest in careers in the medical field for you?" asks Mom.

The irony is that, in the midst of this micro-practicum experience, our daughters were surrounded by girls who will likely never be asked such a question. Just as it is assumed in our family that the girls will graduate from high school, go to college and pursue a career, it is assumed that these girls will not. It is assumed that they will marry and have as many babies as their bodies will permit. They may or may not go to primary and secondary school, even though there is free, compulsory education until 6th grade. "Free" is a relative term when uniforms and school supplies must be purchased. And "compulsory" is a relative term when there are no truant officers or enforcement officials. Very few will go to high school (or "prepatoria") since doing so requires living in a larger community away from their parents, paying tuition, buying uniforms, school supplies and textbooks, and arranging for room & board with family. For a girl to go to "university" is really quite rare and usually only considered by families who have had some exposure to American or European culture or those with professional parents.

On one hand, this seems so sad to me....for their fate to be decided for them so thoughtlessly. It seems like a wasted opportunity for girls and young women to discover their full capabilities and to honor God by using one's gifts to benefit a larger spectrum of the world.

On the other hand, their lives are blessed with simplicity that spares them the agonies so typically faced by young adults today. They never worry about whether their choice of high school courses will meet the approval of college admissions counselors. They never struggle to inch up their GPA by a few tenths of a point to improve their class rank. They never face the incredible anxiety of taking the SAT, GRE, LSAT or MCAT. They never have to choose a major. They don't have to worry about how they will pay back college loans, afford to strike out on their own, or survive without the comforts of being surrounded by family or friends. They aren't bombarded with credit card applications tempting them into thinking that they can afford a certain lifestyle. They never worry about whether they can make partner, get tenure or earn a merit raise.

They grow up surrounded by mentors - mothers, grandmothers, aunts and neighbors who teach them how to do all the things they will need to do over the course of their lives. They teach them by example and with patient instruction as well.

I know this because Holly was honored with a tortilla making lessons by the women of the village while we were in Tenango. They patiently showed her what to do, coached her, encouraged her and didn't criticize her first pitiful attempts. She learned how to pluck the hard field corn off the cob, how to wash it (with what had to be contaminated water), how to cook it, grind it into paste, how to form the tortillas and cook them on a large platter over an open fire.

We see girls as young as 5 or 6 years old carrying their younger siblings in the traditional sling and caring for them as if they were their own children. We see older girls caring for sibs, but they're also cooking and caring for the family home. Families live close together in little compounds - with each family having a separate dwelling for sleeping but communal cooking and gathering areas. These girls will grow up, get married, have lots of babies and follow in the same traditions as those before her. Their lives are poor, their exposure to the broader world virtually non-existent, and their work and lives demanding on their bodies. But they seem to be genuinely very happy. As they mature, they will be surrounded by a support system of family. They will likely never struggle through a personal crisis alone. They will know how to do the tasks of daily life so mindlessly that they will be able to talk and laugh throughout their day, and their lives will revolve around activities at their church.

Gee...makes the American way for girls seem pretty outrageous, huh?

The Birds: Mexico-Style

It was a typical day in the mountains of Chiapas, or so we thought. The second group of travelers from the US had just arrived in Tenango for a 2-week medical ministry there after a long day of driving in heavy rain. The rainy season had just begun, but the skies had cleared, and it was shaping up to be a beautiful afternoon. And then everything changed.

Many folks recall the Alfred Hitchcock movie, "The Birds." In the film, there are several episodes of violent attacks by swarms of birds. Well, on that fateful day in Mexico, we happened to witness our first termite hatch. I've read up on this a bit and learned that literally hundreds of thousands of termites were released in a swarm - all leaving their nest to start a new termite colony. I can certainly vouch for the sensation of being swarmed by hundreds of thousands of termites, but I can happily report that they didn't bite, sting or otherwise harm us in any way. And the whole experience was over in less than 1 hour. That said, it was quite a sight!

Termites flew anywhere and everywhere - down blouses, up pants legs, into mouths, noses, ears and eyes. When they touch something often one or more wings fell off, so there were thousands of wings left in their wake. The wings ended up falling into even the tiniest of crevices, our suitcases, hammocks, you name it. Perhaps the funniest experience was watching Lindsey Abrams try to enter data into a laptop computer that had several termites flying around the screen and keyboard. How could she type?! How could she see what she was typing?!

And then, just like that, it was over. We had heard from Jan Feliciano that termite hatches often occur over 3 day periods, so we braced ourselves for 2 additional blasts. I'm happy to report that the Monday episode was the only one. Perhaps the other two had occurred before we arrived.

After one gets over the slight trauma of the experience, it is possible to reflect on it. It was an amazing illustration of the perfection of God's creation - even if we don't exactly cherish termites in the broad spectrum of creation. These relatively tiny creatures developed right on schedule, took flight as if synchronized by God himself, and then set out to create new colonies, insuring the continuation of their species. And while the swarming was disruptive to us for a few minutes, it was relatively brief in light of the potential for new life for this particular species.

So, should you find yourself in Mexico during the last week in May or the first week in June, be prepared to witness this amazing display of God's creation at work. If the trauma seems too much, go crawl in your sleeping bag in your hammock with a good book and headlamp. Be sure to pull the hammock completely and tightly over your head for about an hour. When you emerge, the hatch will likely have passed and all that will remain will be the discarded wings.

But...if you can stand it...it's quite a show!!!